Queries and Observations

• Chris Sligh, the pudgy curly-haired American Idol contestant got voted off last night. In reaction to this Sanjaya said: "He was a great guy, but I think his hair was kind of ridiculous. I mean, who wears their hair like that?" To which, Chris Sligh responded by punching Sanjaya in the throat.
• John Edwards has recently announced that his wife's cancer is back but that he'll keep his presidentail campaign going. He stated: "Really it came down to a matter of priority. (pause) What, that doesn't explain my actions? (pause) I think it's pretty clear: I want to be president more than I care about my wife. There I said it!"
• After medical examination, it was found that Donald Trump has a 50/50 chance of losing his hair. This reminds me that I have a 50/50 chance of punching Donald Trump in the throat.
• You know, I think that if there's one lesson I've learned from watching CNN over the last month it's that if you have done nothing with your life except perpetrate filth and then you die, CNN is going to cover the event of your death like they would if the Queen of England assassinated the Dalhi Llama.
• I don't know about you, but it seems that all this power is going to the Democrats' heads. The Republicans think so as well so to humble them a little bit, Republicans have reminded Democrats that we all still live under the rule of a Republican king. So there.
• Last night at the Correspondants' Dinner, President Bush kept the jokes coming and had everyone in stitches. He ended the night with one last joke saying, "Oh and by the way, I've decided to withdraw troops from this horrible, horrible war!" Everyone laughed and laughed. I guess you had to be there.
• Iran recently took British soldiers hostage who were trespassing on Iranian waters. The Iranian president declared: "The British soldiers were trespassing and we will not be releasing them any time soon! We will keep them here and keep them working in our nuclear weapons testing program--I mean, uh . . . in our nuclear energy-making program which is completely harmless and neutral in every way."
• A quick survey on CNN.com asked if American Idol has "become a joke." 92% believe that it has and that the joke is Sanjaya and his suckiness.
• The on-line University of Phoenix is suing FOX over their new television game-show "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader," claiming that the show's title is an infringement upon the university's admissions requirements.
• In a recent study it was found that 98% of all daytime programming is toxic when consumed by humans.