Game 2 Topic: Everyone Plays the Guitar

Don't get me wrong, I love the guitar. Playing the guitar is one of my greatest joys in life, and has been since I was 15 years old. But there are way too many people playing the guitar these days. I would like to mention two topics in conjuction with this--the first is why everyone is playing the guitar.

To illustrate my point, here's President Bush playing the guitar. The leader of the freeworld is playing the guitar. Does he look cool doing it? No. Neither do all the other countless people who play the guitar just to look cool. They are missing some key elements to make them look cool. First, they fail to play the instrument well at all. If you're in a frat house and some yahoo in cutoff shorts and sandals grabs a guitar and starts awkwardly plucking out some song that's unrecognizable until he starts singing: "Desperado . . . why don't you come to your senses?" you're likely to dub that guy uncool. Which is exactly the opposite of what he is going for (too bad for him). He only learned how to fake that song in order to look cool.

The second element that fake guitar players are missing is what I like to call not-being-stuck-on-themselves. I know, I know, I know, you're probably saying: "Wait a second, ever other rocker throughout the history of man has been stuck on themselves." But there's a difference . . . they learned to play first, and then they got stuck on themselves. The fake guitarist is stuck on himself, and then learns to play. People who learn just to look cool only do it because of their undying love for themselves.

I could say more about why people learn to play the guitar but I'd like to get optimistic for once and focus on the multitude of instruments that are getting ignored because of the rapid influx of fake guitar players.

First off, what about the oboe? It looks and sounds like a clarinet that has been involved in a horrible biking accident, which certainly makes it a head-turner.

Second, if someone wants to look cool and unique, why not play the lute?

Look at this guy's face and tell me he doesn't know that everyone in the room is looking at him. Minstrels have been declining in popluarity over the centuries, but if we could recruit a whole slew of college guys to play the lute, minstrels will be bumping.

Third, why not play the saw? Picture this: that same scenario with the frat house except that yahoo doesn't pick up a guitar, he picks up a saw and a bow and starts that saw a-singin'! Nobody can deny the cool factor of playing the saw.

There are countless other instruments that deserve more attention: the basoon, the didgeridoo, the jug, and many more. Needless to say, the guitar may be cool, but there are so many other pathways to coolness out there (e.g., playing the saw).