Ramblings about stuff . . .

Politics make me laugh. Seriously, think about politics and try not to laugh. Go ahead, I'll wait. (long, long pause for laughter . . . wipe the tears away, and--) If you didn't laugh then you might be a politician--because politicians DO NOT laugh. They can't, unless they see everyone else laugh first. That's what politics is all about--do what you think others would do if they were you, except make it seem like you're the one who thought about doing it. Honestly, if human beings were lemmings running off a cliff, politicians wouldn't be in the front, they'd be in the middle of everybody--they'd just be running off the cliff louder than everybody else.

Seriously, politicians are all about entertainment, because politics hinges on the idea that human beings need someone to talk to them in an entertaining way about obvious things. Take health care, for instance--you think that everyone doesn't already realize that we need good health care? I don't want to hear someone talk about health care unless they're entertaining, because I already know about health care. I expect Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama talking about health care while putting each other down, waving their arms, or using a funny voice (a different funny voice, for Hillary). That's why President Bush Jr. could not lose. He is hilarious!

This leads me to my next point about politics: they don't matter. Government matters--politics doesn't matter. Let me use an analogy to illustrate my point. In any sport, there are some things that are required for that sport to exist. Like basketball: you need referees, you need players, and you need equipment. You DO NOT, however, need cheerleaders. Cheerleaders are there to tell everyone which team they think should win. They're dressed up in bright uniforms and they have formal cheers that indicate that they have prepared and are ready to yell at you. But when was that last time cheerleaders did a cheer that really made anyone think? Do you ever go to a sporting event and after hearing a cheer, say to yourself, "Wow, they really put that in a way I've never thought before. You know what? I was going for my team, but I think I'm going to switch." No, it never happens. Politicians are cheerleaders--there, I said it. You can quote me on that: politicians are cheerleaders. Loud, useless, and loud some more.