Queries and Observations

• O.J. Simpson's book and television special detailing how he would've killed his ex-wife and her friend was cancelled. O.J. explained why it was shelved: "Really, if you saw it the first time, you don't need to read about it again."
• In a related story, Barry Bonds has decided to release a book outlining the steroids he took, who gave them to him, and the schedule he was on for taking them IF he would've taken steroids.
• In another related story, Ryan Seacrest is releasing a book outlining who he would date, why he finds them attractive, and why he hasn't told anybody IF he were gay.
• Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes-Cruise recently were married in Italy in a very large castle. Not surprisingly, Tom decided to hold the ceremony in the dungeon, symbolic of his feelings regarding the union to Katie.
• In a recent poll Hillary Clinton proved to be the favorite front-runner to represent the Democrats in the '08 presidential election. In response to this, Republicans everywhere literally fell over simultaneously and rolled around on the ground laughing. But when asked who they were going to have represent them in '08, they responded: "Um. . . is that Brakaka guy republican? Cause he'd be awesome."
• In a related story, John Kerry recently made crappy, off-color jokes about the elderly, un-white ethinicities, the soldiers again, Mother Teresa, apple pie, babies, freedom, and soldiers one more time. When confronted Kerry responded: "Kerry in '08! Yeah!"
• Hundreds aboard a Carnival Cruise were subjected to a viral infection that caused intense vomitting, diherrea, and nausea. Or in other words, what doctors refer to as "The Taco Bell Effect."
• Yesterday, some guy won a NASCAR race that meant he was the best. Proving once again that NASCAR is ridiculously lame.
• China decided to block access to Wikipedia.org after looking up China on wikipedia and discovering that living in China really sucks.