Game Topic: Zoo Animals

There are a few things that Zoos should never have. First is horses. I've been to a zoo where they've had horses and I felt like I was ripped off. I don't want to go to a farm, I want to go to a zoo. I can imagine the conversation between the zoo administrators: "So we can't get the Mongolian white tigers?" "Nope, guess we'll have to go with the next best thing--horses!" Smart fellas, real smart.

The second thing that zoos should never have is trains. Almost every zoo has a train ride that makes every person on it over the age of 3 feel stupid. Look at this picture--even the kids on the back feel stupid.You know what they ought to have instead of trains? Bumper cars. They should rig the zoo to have bumper cars to get around--you get to slam other zoo patrons while you look at Rhinos--how is that not awesome!

The third thing that zoos should never have is starving animals. I went to a zoo once where there was a bear that looked like it hadn't had a good meal since it was a bearcub.I want some glam-animals. Dress them up in leather animal-pants, and have them perform--jumping through hoops or eating convicts or something.

There are plenty of things that zoos across the world should be doing to ensure that they don't suck. Here are a few more ideas to help them out--have the food court in the middle of the alligator pit. You're standing in line ordering a $12 hot dog, and unknowingly an alligator is floating up to you--looking like a log--the next thing you know you're trying to keep your hot dog above water while the alligator is dragging you under. Tell me that wouldn't spice up the food court.
The next thing that zoos should have are 3D displays--equipped with those cool blue/red plastic glasses. This would make the following animals not only tolerable but exciting: flamingos, zebras, tucans, sloths but NOT horses!
The last thing that every zoo should move to is free gorilla rides. I'm surprised this hasn't taken off yet. What could be more fun that riding a gorilla while it swings through the trees? Nothing that I can think of. I had this idea while watching Tarzan, and it was an epiphany that is going to change the world of zoos forever.